GoldieSable & The Three Bears
by hadoolket
Summary: This is a story I wrote straight to Notepad around mid-1999 about Sable leaving the WWF. I hope you enjoy it. Please don't flame me, as I am very fragile. Also, read my other fun and serious stories. Contains very mild language and references to poop.


goldie-sable  
AND THE THREE BEARS!  
--------------------  
  
In an isolated house, far far away, there was  
a magical happy land full of candy and cashew halves and  
a nice woman greeted everyone courteously as they entered  
into the chocolate cottage. As much as it would have  
been great to live there, it's not part of the story  
so nevermind.  
In another house, a townhouse, a big townhouse,  
with lots and lots of stairs and maybe an elevator or two,  
lived three bears. They were dressed in bear costumes  
anyway. One was the papa bear, who was really Vince  
McMahon in disguise. The mother bear was played by  
Goldust, but Vince didn't know about this until we told  
him at the end of the story and laughed at him while he  
cried, because he hit on Mama Bear.  
Anyway, the final bear was a top secret cloning  
project involving high tech gear like the N64, the  
Apple IIGS, among other things like the innovative  
pencil sharpener. Okay, not really.  
This bear was a baby bear named Steve Austin.  
While it could have been the Undertaker who played  
this part because he acts like such a wussy pansy  
baby in the first place, for dumb mental reasons  
Steve Austin was chosen for this role. The author  
expects people to laugh at this.  
Mama bear Goldust went to the stove and  
cooked up some ham sandwiches. Stone cold Baby  
Austin went up to him or her or whatever and  
pointlessly did a Stone Cold Stunner on Mama Bear  
and slammed his or her or whatever face into the  
frying pan while it was very hot. Then they had  
fried Goldust face for breakfast. Mama Bear  
Goldust's face regenerated for story continuation  
purposes.  
Baby Bear shouted "where's my damn beer,  
ma?" and Mama Bear Goldust just turned to Baby Bear  
and did some really flatulent homoerotic pose because  
the author couldn't find another way to describe  
what Goldust did in one simple line where he pretended  
to masturbate in the squared circle. Baby Bear  
clotheslined his mom. Not his real mom. Mama Bear.  
I don't know, maybe Mama Bear is his real mom. Baby  
Bear Austin and the Blue Meanie do look conspicuously  
similar in appearance.  
The three holy trinity bears sat down at  
the table in a triangle or something. Not that  
it was symbolic or anything. The author has no  
idea what the hell the triangle is supposed to  
symbolize anyway. Well, the three bears started to  
chew into their ham sandwiches.  
Unfortunately, Papa Bear's was too inopulent  
a sandwich to be eaten by him so Papa Bear Vince  
McMahon went to Long John Silver's, arr matey!  
Likewise, Mama Bear Goldust's was too rigid  
and masculine and silver. But Mama Bear ate it  
anyway.  
Baby Bear Austin bitched about his ham  
sandwich even though it was just fine. Nobody really  
cared but everybody listened. Even those in the  
neighborhood. Some helicopters even flew into their  
household's windows, tearing them apart just to get  
comments from Baby Bear.  
After Papa Bear came back while being  
escorted by a group of Macarena twiggy dancers  
known as the Group That Likes Stuff group, they  
schematically planned a prank on the poor old or  
young whatever her age is GoldieSable. Because  
she said she was better than the average bear,  
and this infuriated the three bears which are  
used to symbolize the holy trinity even though  
it's probably used incorrectly because the author  
put no thought into this story other than to make  
silly jokes.  
"Let's poopoo in her purse!" said Mama  
Bear Goldust. However disgusted, Vince McMahon  
liked the idea and decided that he would be  
the pooper and Mama Bear Goldust would be the  
purse toilet holder. Baby Bear would be the  
watch guard. None of these bears actually talked  
about who did what; the author was just being rather  
vicarious.  
Meanwhile, Goldiesable, not to be confused  
with Goldie Hawn in a rather ludicrous and stupid  
pun type joke, was on talking shows spreading her  
word of Playboy, nudity, and sexual freedom everywhere.  
Everybody in the audience whistled. Maybe they were  
trying to whistle a tune or something. The song  
sucked so many people turned off their televisions  
whenever Goldiesable was on the talkshows because of the  
dumb whistling songs which lead to a lot of dropped  
ratings. Kathie Lee Gifford was forced to work her  
slaves overtime with no pay, I guess. Not that I  
think she has any but it's some common joke that I  
don't know how it got started.  
As Goldiesable talked her pants off (no, not  
really) at all her talkshows, Vince McMahon went to  
poopoo in her purse. Mama Bear Goldust held up the  
purse. To the two parent bears' dismay, Papa Bear  
was constipated due to old age. It took an hour to  
get even one dinger out and it didn't even drop.  
Goldiesable came home exhausted and took her  
pants off. People climbed her house to see her through  
her windows. But I fooled them because she didn't  
really take her pants off. It was a joke, ha ha. The  
people who climbed her walls fell down and broke their  
heads in half. Other people who were late to get my  
joke message slipped on the fallen guys' brain fragments,  
also breaking their own heads in half. It continued  
until it eventually got out into the street where  
cars crashed into each other and nevermind.  
She noticed a pipe. I don't know why, she  
just did. Maybe she thought it was a sexy pipe.  
Ask her about it, I guess.  
Then she came into her room. Noticing the  
three bears, she screamed. The insult to, well...  
there's no injury but oh well...anyways, she  
acknowledged the poop in her purse and sued their  
butts off. So they couldn't poop anymore. But  
her logic had failed her as it is their butt HOLE instead  
that lets out the fecal excrements, obviously. So they  
continued to pull the poopoo prank on her. Only  
without buttcheeks. It big joke, ha ha funny. They  
thought it was, anyway, so I guess it was pretty  
funny that they had to do it so many times in a  
row. Twice on Sunday.  
  
The end.  
  
by rainbow_cody - kwantzu dudes!  
What????? 


End file.
